The following is an excerpt from my book, Southern Fried Faith, which you can pick up here. If there’s anything good about a selfishly motivated church member, it’s that they are at least motivated. Frequently, church leaders have the opposite problem: members who cannot or will not serve or participate for any variety of reasons. In response, church leaders frequently resort to bludgeoning members with guilt so that they will eventually choose to be a part of whatever program or ministry planned. Maybe you’ve heard or even used statements like the following at church.
- You’d better share your faith because if you don’t, the blood of those people will be on your hands.
- We’ve prayed about it, and we are convinced that no matter how you feel, it is God’s will for you to teach the three year-old class this year.
- If just one person comes to know Christ because of your commitment to this ministry, it will be worth it.
The kind of guilt exhibited in statements like these is what Paul calls “worldly grief” (2 Corinthians 7:10). Over time, this kind of motivation does incredible harm to the relationship between leaders and followers, and thus great harm to the church as a whole. At first, people may do what leaders want them to do, but they only do it to alleviate their guilt. As these guilt-driven experiences add up, so does resentment. It may take years, but people eventually realize that complying only gives them temporary relief from their guilt, so they willingly choose to endure the anger of those heaping guilt on them, which only leads them to resent their leaders more. It’s a vicious cycle that can only end in severed relationships and a fractured church.
Because I’m a foodie, I’ve got a fancy coffee maker. I don’t roast or even grind my own beans, but I do take great care in making a great pot of coffee, of which a brewer plays a significant role. As it so happens, I live in an area where the tap water has a high mineral content. After a year of pouring hard water into my highfalutin coffee maker, the brass valve between the stainless steel water tank and brew basket clogged. This is how guilt works as a motivator: for a time, it can boost giving or increase attendance at rehearsals, but eventually it creates bitterness in the heart of church people. They soon stop participating, and the church quickly stops functioning.
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